This weekend I had the house to myself as Greg went over to a friend's place for Saturday night and much of Sunday. I spent much of the evening watching a series of talks by Eckhart Tolle given at a retreat he facilitated some years back. I love his teachings and the space from which they arise which is beyond the egoic self and truly to the heart of the matter. There are always so many analogies, quotes and stories that I find so poignant, but there were a few that truly stood out for me. Some of the teachings are already integrated in my life, some are largely integrated in my life and others are realizations that are yet to be integrated into my life.
As I listened to him, little did I realize that something within was creaking and groaning, shifting it's long held position and beginning to rise to the surface of my Awareness. Usually I can feel when I am processing or something is shifting, but this took me quite by surprise, as this morning the emotions arose and I literally looked down at my body and asked "what the hell is this?"
What was occurring for me was an entering into, what felt like, a grieving and releasing of the picture of what my life was/is "supposed" to look like. The picture I painted so long ago and have added to along the way, the one that is etched into my mind-made Self and that I have held such longing attachment to for all these years. As I have grown through my life, so the picture has changed along the way and I have added layer upon layer to the canvas of my ideals. I felt a sadness rising up in me last night as I listened to Eckhart Tolle's soft-spoken voice and felt it breaking through a facade that I did not even know was there, cracking open yet another illusory belief, and this morning the emotion erupted into Awareness as I grieved the ideal of the ideal life.
The realisation that we can achieve all the things that we have dreamed of but that they may not look the way that we thought they would has been quite profound for me. I look at the law of attraction and manifesting that which we choose for ourselves and I realise that while the power of manifestation is absolutely real, we create blockages for ourselves if we think that we know what the actual manifestation of our dreams look like. Perhaps this is the ultimate blockage to manifesting, the knowing that ALL is possible but being able to step aside and allow that picture to unfold the way it is going to, without attachment to the outcome and what it looks like in our ideal mind-made images.
Perhaps holding the vision of what the outcome looks like only traps us back into the realm of the limited and by not holding onto a vision of an outcome allows us to step into the realm of the limitless.
I am feeling that this is the space from which true manifestation arises. Not only entering into the field of feeling and expressing gratitude for that which you have chosen for yourself in the knowing that it has arrived, but stepping beyond the mind-made Self and into a reality that exists beyond the minds ability to comprehend. We do this by entering into wholeness through Presence and allowing Life to fully open up into the realm of limitless possibilities.
Eckhart Tolle teaches that when we resist what is in our lives we exist in the realm of form, we are attached to the mind-made Self and to our thinking. When we are able to feel into the space between our incessant thinking minds and into the stillness of the formless then we begin to truly step into Presence. Dr Joe Dispenza talks of becoming no-body in no-space and in no-time, in other words we dissolve into the purity of Presence, into the stillness within.
When we can feel our innate spaciousness from the place of deep inner stillness then we move into the realm of possibility. In his teaching Eckhart Tolle quoted Jesus and this is what has stood out for me the most through my journey this weekend and I shall leave you with it.
“Seek only the Kingdom of Heaven which is within and all that you thought you needed shall be added unto you.”